Keeping kids safe online

Are Our Kids Safe From Internet Predators?
We've all seen the recent tv series of undercover sting operations to catch internet child predators. I'm sure you're as amazed as I am that these men continue to show up to meet with underage girls and boys, in spite of all the publicity. It's scary for any parent to think that these men are out there, targeting and preying on our children, and it can be easy to believe it could never happen to our kids.

I Did All The Right Things
Just about a year ago, my 12 year old daughter asked me for an email account of her own. Her older brother and sister have been online for years, and I figured I was an old hand at the online safety rules. We talked about how to stay safe on the internet: No pictures. Never, ever give out personal information or agree to meet anyone, no matter how well you think you know them or how nice they seem. No myspace, and no chat rooms until she was a little older and more mature, were high on the list of rules.

I Thought I Did All The Right Things
It was only a few months later that I went through the history on our web browser and found her myspace account. She listed herself as 15 years old, looking for friends and relationships, and had posted TONS of pictures of herself. She was receiving regular (non sexual- so far anyway) communications from a 21 year old man.

She had used a pseudonym to register- if she hadn't forgotten to clean the history from the browser this time, I never would have found her account (and how did she know to do that anyway?). She had links to teen chat rooms with names like spin the bottle- I was BESIDE myself. How could she so flagrantly disobey me and put herself at risk like that? How could I have been so unaware of what she was doing? And what the heck was I going to do about it?

Now What Do I Do?
My knee jerk reaction was to ground her for a month and take away her computer privileges for the rest of her life. Then reality set in. She needed the computer for homework. I couldn't simply take the power cord to prevent her from going online while I was at work, because her older brother and sister take some of their high school classes online, and they have to be able to use the computer. Besides, that wouldn't prevent her from using a friend's computer- it was clear from viewing her myspace page that most of her friends were doing the same thing.

What the Experts Say- Minimize Your Child's Risk Online
I did some research, and discovered that if I had been using a quality parental control program , I would have known about the risks my daughter was taking and been able to manage,or even eliminate, them much sooner. The FBI maintains a website about child internet safety that provides the following tips for minimizing your child's risk of being victimized by an internet predator:

1. Communicate, and talk to your child about sexual victimization and potential on-line danger.

2. Spend time with your children on-line. Have them teach you about their favorite on-line destinations.

3. Keep the computer in a common room in the house, not in your child's bedroom.

4. Utilize parental controls provided by your service provider and/or blocking software.

5. Always maintain access to your child's on-line account and randomly check his/her e-mail. Be aware that your child could be contacted through the U.S. Mail. Be up front with your child about your access and reasons why.

6. Teach your child the responsible use of the resources on-line. There is much more to the on-line experience than chat rooms.

7. Find out what computer safeguards are utilized by your child's school, the public library, and at the homes of your child's friends. These are all places, outside your normal supervision, where your child could encounter an on-line predator.

8. Understand, even if your child was a willing participant in any form of sexual exploitation, that he/she is not at fault and is the victim. The offender always bears the complete responsibility for his or her actions.

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